Firecracker

—A note to my “MawMaw,” who went home today—

See you later, firecracker.

Red hair and a fiesty disposition that was enough to make anyone a little mad.

I remember shaking my head at your insistence to pray more. I now shake my head at ghosts of a former self, all too reliant on my own demons. Too stubborn to listen. That’s probably a little bit of your character in me.

Today your soul was plucked from your little bones. You came into this world fragile and left in the same fashion. Your spirit grew heavy in the last years, but a glimmer of the life you lived still shone through if one were to look hard enough. It happened much too fast, yet all too slow.

85 years. 85 years of laughter, of tears, of adventure, and of love. I wish I had asked more questions. I wish I had called you when you didn’t expect me to. I wish I had reached out and touched your soul.

You, my darling, are a survivor. I wish I had not been so afraid of treading on painful memories. You were more stubborn that the most difficult mule- but you were resilient. You looked to God. For so many calendar flips you didn’t allow your spirit to be broken through cancer, through loss, and through enormous pain. Your firecracker exterior covered one of the largest hearts I have ever encountered.

You and your sweetheart tug at my heart every time I look on my finger. The engagement ring that once was graced by your hand now graces mine. I wish diamonds could speak and display the lifetime of dreams and disappointments that this ring witnessed. I pray we can capture just a snapshot of the love that was between you two every day. There was such tenderness still after so many years. Your love was not one of books or legends, but it was the one that held hands in the last moments. It was a love that tended to each other. It was a love that drove each other a little crazy, in the best way possible. It was tender. And it was true.

I saw it, for my very eyes. As did everyone else.

Wood paneled walls. A few hummingbird figurines.

This is not a life that left behind fancy achievements or a world turned on its side from fantastical philosophies. There is no bank balance to split up. Few heirlooms have been left behind.

This is a life that demonstrates God’s grace. The power of marriage. The impact of faith. And the almost unfathomable depths of the endless love that one soul can give and be given.

This is a life lived 85 years.

Thank you for being ours for a little while.

We smile thinking of you and Poppy holding hands again.

I’ll think of you often. I’ll see you later. I love you, so much.

-Pumpkin.